escape to insanity

It occurred to me today that I might need to re-arrange my buddy list on Trillian sometime in the near future. Right now it's arranged more or less by where I met each person. I've got people that I knew mostly from high school, people I knew mostly from college, people from BigBlueBall, even a “Miscellaneous” category.

I've even had to break up some of the groups into sub-groups. There are plenty of people on my college list that I haven't talked to for several years, yet I can't convince myself to simply delete their screennames because “what if…” — what if one of these days around the corner I need to ask them something? So in the meantime, they're corralled into a sub-group that I leave collapsed unless I need to contact them. Meaning that group is permanently collapsed.

Anyway… back on topic. I'm wondering if, now that I've been out of college for a good while, I need to re-arrange my list. Instead of grouping people by where they had the good fortune to bask in my awesomeness for the first time, maybe a better idea would be degree of relation.

Then I'd have categories like “bestest friends” or maybe just “bff” for short. Of course, that category would be empty. That's fine though.

I'd have categories like “close friends” and “sorta friends.” And “they think they're my friends,” “I think I vaguely remember meeting this person once,” and “Who are these people?”

Of course there'd have to be at least one category of “Just acquaintances” for those people who you could nod your head at when you pass them in public, but if pressed for their name, you'd have to make up something that sounds plausible and hope no one knows the right answer. And who could forget the need for a group like “Can't stand these” — although I imagine I could more easily delete those contacts.

Hmm, who knows. One of these days I shall have to take a look at it. In the meantime, I really just don't care that much, and don't have that much time what with this new jobby thingy. Ideas? How do you arrange your buddylist acquaintance list?

Ok… so… it's past three o'clock in the morning, and I'm dead tired. I've been awake since about 8am. That would be eight o'clock in the morning, yesterday. I'm only marginally awake. Believe me, when I say marginally awake, I mean it. Look at that over there. I'm fighting to keep my eyes open, and there's your proof. Ain't I a looker at 3:46 in the AM? I'm about to crash into my bed and lose consciousness for a few hours of sweet sweet sleep, but I figured I may as well post some updates while I'm here.

Because I know you care.

First up, the reason I'm still awake at this ungodly hour after being awake since early yesterday. I just got back from… drumroll please… Spider-Man 3. And holy crap. Holy… freakin'… crap. Fantastic. I've still got goosebumps after that one; the midnight showing was definitely worth it. Venom, Sandman, the second Green Goblin, and Spidey. What a fantastic movie… I won't spill any and ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen it. I've just still got the picture of Venom in my head. Ok, enough rambling about that. More later, maybe.

Make that probably.

The other recent development came earlier in the evening. As evidenced by a previous post, I've been unemployed since early in March. March 9th, if I recall correctly. Today is now technically May 4th, I think. I'm pretty sure. I interviewed earlier for a job with a very prestigious company… I wasn't sure how it went at first, and was ready to put it out of my mind if needed.

That wasn't needed.

At about 9pm, shortly before we were about to head out for a night that culminated in Spider-Man bliss, my cellphone rang. I recognized the number — it was the staffing recruiter that had scrounged up the interview for me. I couldn't fathom why he would be calling me at nine o'clock at night; the only thing I could come up with was that I probably hadn't gotten the job and he was calling to break the news.

How wrong I was.

So now… as of this coming Monday the 7th, I'll be rejoining the workforce. I'll be making my semi-triumphant return to the ranks of the employed after a two-month hiatus. Sweet! I'll be doing the long daily commute again, but that'll only be for a few weeks until I move much closer more permanently. Then it'll be only about a twenty-minute drive, which will be nice now that gas is up to $3.29 a gallon. I was thinking about pre-emptively selling off my first-born child just to make sure I can fill up my tank next week. The joke'll be on them when they realize I don't plan on having kids… whatever will they do then? Bwahahahaha.

Ok, I can tell it's time for me to go to bed when I start using 'Bwahahahahaha' in posts. So au revoir, g'night, sweet dreams, whatever you want to hear. It's been a long day, but it's been good. Finally, things are starting to come around.

Yes, I realize I missed Reboot for this year. I wanted to get everything done in time, but I just haven't been able to finish the overhaul in time. I'm still working on the control panel and all the fun stuff that goes along with that, and the design itself is still extremely bare-bones.

I'm hoping to get around to finishing it up soon. I'm rethinking some of my ideas on how I want to have everything work together, and once I get it solidly worked out I'll finish up the coding. After that, I'll sketch out my ideas for the design and try to get that together.

And then I'll reboot. Better late than never.

The upside to unemployment is that you don't have to do anything. The downside is that you don't have anything to do.

I used to be a huge LEGO freak. My room was packed with various LEGO models that I'd either built from the box directions or — more commonly — scratched together from my own imagination. That's really the better way to do it. Any model from a box was likely ripped apart for pieces within a few days anyway.

My bedroom was practically a showcase for homemade LEGO creations first, bedroom second. I've still got some of my creations sitting around on the shelves. On top of my bookshelf, there sits a tribute to Star Wars: a TIE interceptor, R2-D2, and a droideka. Unfortunately, I don't have pictures of my actual builds since I'm not at my parents' house right now. The TIE Interceptor that I built isn't the official LEGO version — when it was released, it was upwards of $200. That's too much change to drop on a LEGO model for me or my parents, so I took a look around my room, sized up my inventory, and decided “I can make that.” And so I did. Without having the thing in front of me for measurements, I believe it has something like a 14-inch wingspan side-to-side, and about 12 inches from the back of the wings to the wingtips. It of course seats one LEGO minifig in appropriate gear.

In any case, that was several years ago. Before I moved on to college, away from home and away from my collection. Now I'm starting to think up things I want to do with my collection again. I'm certainly not getting rid of them, and seeing as I'll be temporarily living at my parents' abode for a short while, I may as well make some use of them.

I've thought of some models I want to try to build this summer in my free time. First up, the one that's been in my mind the longest — a Cylon raider. It's just a sleek machine. It'll be a bit of a challenge to get the same swept-out effect with LEGO bricks, but that's the whole point. Besides, for as much of a Battlestar geek as I am, I practically have to try.

Next up is Toombs' merc ship from the movie “Chronicles of Riddick.” It might be a little easier to do than the Raider, but we'll see. It's just a cool looking ship. The hard part is going to be finding source material. I can't find any pictures of it online, so I'm going to have to stick to screen captures from the movie, like the one pictured to the right. It wasn't easy finding a decent shot of this thing.

After that I thought maybe the Serenity from the ill-fated television show “Firefly” and the capstone movie “Serenity.” It's not exactly the most beautiful ship in the 'verse, but… it's the Serenity. I loved the show, loved the movie, loved the characters, so why not make the ship?

My only problem will be finding the time and space to work on these. I need to work on finding a real job, and once I get one, I'll be spending the majority of my time working and finding a place to live that doesn't involve my parents' house; that won't leave me much spare time for playing with toys stretching my imagination.

I spend a lot of time wondering about things that make no sense whatsoever. Things that… really… there's not much point in wondering about. Absurd things.

For an example, today I spent a good half hour — if not more — wondering how exactly psychokinesis would work. To be clear, there's a difference between psychokinesis and telekinesis. Telekinesis affects only matter — say, the ability to move a car, stop bullets, or create wind by manipulating the molecules in the air. Psychokinesis adds to that with the ability to manipulate energy as well. Wikipedia offers the example of softening a the metal of a spoon so that it bends more readily. (or maybe, there is no spoon.)

Back to my point. I spent at least half an hour wondering about the specifics of psychokinesis. Well… I guess I was focusing more on the telekinesis side of it. How does it work? What level of control would one have?

Say you want to get yourself a can of soda out of the fridge. What steps are involved in retrieving that can? I imagine it'd be pretty easy to open the fridge door, levitate a can out of the fridge, close the door, and maneuver the can to wherever you are. But what about more complex tasks? What if you're unfamiliar with the specific environment that you're manipulating? Say I want to unplug the neighbor's stereo, but I've never seen their place? I don't know where the stereo is located — but I have a pretty good idea from hearing it through the wall. Even if I can figure out the location of the stereo, I have no idea what model it is, where the power cord connects, or where the wall outlet is located.

Now things start to get trickier.

Can I use my telekinesis to “feel” my way around the room, around the stereo? I wonder if I'd be able to mentally grope around the room to figure out where the cord is located, and what I need to do to silence the stereo. I wonder if I'd be helpless in this situation, since I have very little idea what I'm dealing with on the other side of the wall.

You see what I have to deal with in my head? Now I sit here, wondering about the physical problems inherent with a superpower that I don't currently and in all likelihood will never possess. And of course, this won't end with this post. I'll continue to wonder about things like this, because that's how my mind works.

Now… things like weather control, that's an entirely different ballgame.

Great comic I just found online, xkcd:

sometimes it seems bizarre to me that we take dreaming in stride:

“Are you coming to dinner?”

“Sure, but first I'm gonna go comatose for a few hours, hallucinate vividly, and then maybe suffer amnesia about the whole experience.”

“okay cool.”

- View the original comic.

This is what happens when Sami and I talk. Absurd conversations about Monopoly and Nike-knockoffs. And yet… these are the best sorts of conversations.

edited lightly to make it easier to read:

Sami: Other pieces from the monopoly game include McDonalds fries, Moterola Cell Phone, Laptop, Laboradoodle, Jetplane, hybrid car, starbucks coffee cup
me: times have changed since i owned a monopoly board, apparently
me: i don't see “Iron” in that list… is this 'consumer whore monopoly' ?
Sami: Here and Now monopoly
me: same thing.
Sami: they actually had a vote thing online for cities on the board. Cities rallied to get their city on the damn thing. Minneapolis has a blue square or some sh*t
me: hahahahaha
Sami: I just thought it was funny that they put “Mall of America: Minneapolis St.Paul” .. The MoA is in Burnsville…
Sami: The cities that will be represented on the board include the following:
New York City, Los Angeles, Chicago, Philadelphia, San Francisco, Boston, Washington D.C., Dallas, Atlanta, Seattle, Phoenix, Minneapolis / St. Paul, Miami, Denver, Houston, Cleveland, St. Louis, Orlando, New Orleans, Las Vegas, Honolulu, Nashville
me: nashville? no one wants to own nashville.
me: and i'm surprised they only included one starbucks cup. you need at least three per square

Sami: HAHAHAHAH! The French Quarter in New Orleans is in the new monopoly! The Property value is at $2,600,000. Obviously this game was made before katrina…
me: hahahaha
me: now it's the 'go to jail' square
me: or the “you forfeit all your property and have to move your piece to someone else's property indefinitely” community card
Sami: Yeah, instead of houses, you get driftwood. And for the hotels, you get blow up rafts
me: the bank gives you some money to help, but most of it goes to the people who already own the bulk of the other properties

Sami: Nashville is “Grand Ole Opry” worth $1,000,000. Light Blue square. In it's neighborhood are the Gateway Arch, St. Louis and MoA, Minneapolis.
me: MoA?
me: ohhh… got it
Sami: St. Louis, Minneapolis and Nashville. Apparently the Lt. Blue squares are the Ghetto, the South and the Barrio.
me: something like that. are those properties rent-controlled?
Sami: I don't believe so, but if you end up owning them, you have to change your board piece to a cockroach, a barretta or a bill for child support.
me: those are the spaces you try to sell right after getting them, but no one else will take them
Sami: and by the end of the game your daughter is knocked up or you have a bulletwound.
me: does ghetto monopoly have switchblades as pieces?
Sami: And you have to go to the pawn shop to re-acquire all your property
Sami: HAH!
me: or do they stick to regular pieces? the kind you tuck in the back of your belt?
Sami: I think the pieces include a switchblade, but they also have more creative ones.
Sami: The razorblade, the barretta, the syringe, the 'fatty'…
Sami: and the 'bling bling' which actually comes cast in sterling silver instead of pewter
me: and the pieces no doubt have spinner rims
me: or, alternately, grills
Sami: Oh hell yes, brudduh
Sami: Diem says there's an el dorado or el camino with 24″ spinners, too.
Sami: you think that in ghetto monopoly, the el camino has hydrolics?

Sami: “You skipped out on your child support, Go Directly to Jail” and the GO square is now “The border”
me: probably. the jail square is about half the size of the board, but everyone keeps getting stuck there anyway
Sami: Free Parking is “Collect 200 dollars for mowing grass”
Sami: “Nobody ever really wins, you just do a little bit better each time”
me: nobody ever wins, you just hope to make it around the board once or twice without getting mugged
Sami: And instead of the banker, there's the “loan shark” or “mob”

Sami: We could actually make a game like this and just call it Ghetto-Opoly. Imagine how popular it'd be.
me: license it to whoever makes regular monopolies
Sami: Everytime you mortgage a property, someone has to beat the sh*t out of you.

Sami: sh*t, I forgot about the nike shoe piece… damn
me: oh, that's not nike
me: that's new balance
me: hahahahahahaha
Sami: Oh damn you know what it is!
me: even better… i had a pair of those
Sami: HAHAHAHAHAHAH *Dies*
Sami: You whore
me: nikes have the swish, new balance has a giant N
me: which at first everyone thinks is for nike. but NOT.
Sami: I repeat. You whore.
me: they're dirt cheap
me: in my defense, they were my work shoes
me: when i was working at the gymnastics place.
Sami: thanks to hundreds of little polynesian kids.
me: exactly
me: 3 cents a day? the claymation dude wants to put an end to that labor.

Sami: Ahhh… well then, You can pass The Border and Collect $2
me: i wonder if there's a moat around the ghetto board.
me: and a mini-fence
Sami: Electrified.
me: but it's only part-way around the board
Sami: Razorwire
me: and minutemen with rifles.
Sami: There's a giant Home Depot in the board. If you're playing as anything Mexi-related, if you land on it, you get $20 for tiling someone's bathroom if you roll an odd number, but roll an even number and you get deported

me: also, if you roll odd numbers, you have to pay the bum who just washed your window with dirty newspaper
Sami: And just hope that it's mud and not because he washed you window with his 'wiping hand'
me: …thanks for that mental image
me: i shall cherish it for as few seconds as possible
Sami: “Turn off the windshield wipers, they don't work, it's just making it worse…”

Ahhh yes. Good stuff.

Disclaimer: any product brand names or anything of the sort are probably trademarked, or copyrighted, or copylefted, or whatever the applicable term might be in their particular case. Don't sue me for anything.

You know what's fun? Managing to accidentally burn a nice little spot on the underside of your tongue. Yep. It's a blast.

You're just sitting there, minding your own business, enjoying what passes for a late-night snack, when BAM.

The pizza you just pulled out of the oven a few minutes earlier is delicious. It's tasty, it's pizza-licious. The sauce is exactly the way it's supposed to be, the cheese is nicely melted and just a little browned, and the crust is almost perfectly cooked. Granted, the edges of the crust were a little darker and crispier than you'd prefer, but overall it's a successful pizza run.

You've enjoyed the first slice. It was a little warm at first, being so fresh from the oven, but you were careful and got through it in one piece. You might have lost a tiny piece of pepperoni to gravity, but the rest of the slice went down in delicious bliss.

The second slice seems to be going just as well. You go in for another bite, expecting another mouthful of happiness, but then something happens. Something is wrong. You can't quite place it, but something… THERE. Now you know what it is. A small bit of the sauce has just escaped its cheesy constraints and made a break for it, trying to get out into the open. But alas, it doesn't seem to be going for the plate several inches below. It goes for the much closer, seemingly safer hiding spot. It's a difficult move, but it manages to pull off the stunt.

The burning hot droplet of formerly delicious pizza sauce is now hiding directly underneath your tongue.

Arguably some of the most sensitive tissue on your entire body, the underside of your tongue is the absolute worst place for hot pizza sauce to land. It's horrible. The slightest little burn, however insignificant it would be if located anywhere else on the body, feels like it's a third-degree burn turning your flesh to ash. You do not want to ever subject that tissue to hot burning sauce. Indeed, hot burning anything, for that matter.

Ow.

Riddle me this. It's currently March 24th, 2007, at 10pm CST. At the time of this post, it's almost 70 degrees Fahrenheit outside.

This is March. March. March is usually supposed to be the start of the end of our winter. Just a few weeks ago it was still bitterly cold, where you didn't want to be outdoors for more than a few seconds at a time. Just a few weeks ago it was apocalyptic weather, like in The Day After Tomorrow. Today, it's the polar opposite. I'm sitting here in shorts and a t-shirt, and I'm still sweating.

This is unnatural. Our seasons are shifting. March is supposed to still be winter, not summer. Here's an idea of how absurd this is. On my bed, I have a heated mattress pad under my sheets. On top of the sheets, I have a furry blanket, and then my standard comforter, and then my tiger blanket. Next to my bed I've got a ceramic space heater set to thermostat mode, so it kicks on whenever the temperature in the room falls below a certain temperature. We've had the main heat on in the house since it dropped below zero. There were a few nights just a few weeks ago, and especially during the late days of December, that I was still cold despite all those barriers against the frigid air. The last few nights, I've left off the mattress pad, the space heater, and the central heat. Not only that, I've tossed aside two of my blankets, keeping only the first blanket against any drafts in the room.

This is insane. Seventy degrees and muggy, and it's only the end of March.

Bear in mind, I'm in no way complaining. I love hot weather. I plan to move out to the Southwest eventually, where it's consistently warm. I'm just dumbfounded at the… wrongness… of the season. It shouldn't be this warm this early in the year.