Decide
Today's bit of advice:
To the guy ahead of me in line at Subway:
While going to Subway for lunch may sound good when you're stoned at 1:00 in the afternoon, there are others behind you in line who are genuinely hungry without the aid of recreational drugs. We'd appreciate it if you would make up your mind on what you want in terms of a sub.
No, you cannot get your footlong sub two different ways. You can get one footlong sub made one way, or you can get two six inch subs made two separate ways. You cannot go halfsies on the sub without paying extra. It's just not how it works.
Cheese. There's only a few different kinds, just go with whatever you like the best. No, you cannot get a little of each unless you want to pay the extra cost — it says right there on the glass that extra cheese is $0.20 extra. Deal with it.
Toasted, not toasted. It's only two options. Pick one and stick with it. Don't decide you want it toasted, then seconds before it goes in the toaster oven decide you don't want it toasted, only to decide a few seconds later that you do in fact want it toasted. And then rescinding that decision a second time. I know you're toasted, but what about the sub? Just pick one.
Ok, I understand you can get whatever veggies you want, but if you screw up and pick one you don't want… gah. Fine, she can pick off the cucumbers if you actually wanted tomatos, but it's a hassle for her and it's an extra thirty seconds I have to wait for you to get out of the building. And I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but the dressings aren't quite as easy to remove if you make a mistake. Don't tell her you want the southwest sauce, and then say “no no no no not that” a half-second before she pours it out on your sub. If you wanted the oil instead, you should have asked for that the first time.
Seriously. It's not that complex of a task to order a sub. My advice is just this… don't get stoned before coming to Subway. It makes life easier for all of us.