escape to insanity

You know what's fun? Managing to accidentally burn a nice little spot on the underside of your tongue. Yep. It's a blast.

You're just sitting there, minding your own business, enjoying what passes for a late-night snack, when BAM.

The pizza you just pulled out of the oven a few minutes earlier is delicious. It's tasty, it's pizza-licious. The sauce is exactly the way it's supposed to be, the cheese is nicely melted and just a little browned, and the crust is almost perfectly cooked. Granted, the edges of the crust were a little darker and crispier than you'd prefer, but overall it's a successful pizza run.

You've enjoyed the first slice. It was a little warm at first, being so fresh from the oven, but you were careful and got through it in one piece. You might have lost a tiny piece of pepperoni to gravity, but the rest of the slice went down in delicious bliss.

The second slice seems to be going just as well. You go in for another bite, expecting another mouthful of happiness, but then something happens. Something is wrong. You can't quite place it, but something… THERE. Now you know what it is. A small bit of the sauce has just escaped its cheesy constraints and made a break for it, trying to get out into the open. But alas, it doesn't seem to be going for the plate several inches below. It goes for the much closer, seemingly safer hiding spot. It's a difficult move, but it manages to pull off the stunt.

The burning hot droplet of formerly delicious pizza sauce is now hiding directly underneath your tongue.

Arguably some of the most sensitive tissue on your entire body, the underside of your tongue is the absolute worst place for hot pizza sauce to land. It's horrible. The slightest little burn, however insignificant it would be if located anywhere else on the body, feels like it's a third-degree burn turning your flesh to ash. You do not want to ever subject that tissue to hot burning sauce. Indeed, hot burning anything, for that matter.

Ow.